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SCARED.
Friday, July 25, 2008 @ 11:54 pm
we just came back from the hospital.
so many emotions are going though inside,
i just need to like pen it down.
i was having dinner just now,
and mummy called back to ask us to get ready.
she said she'll come and fetch us to the hospital, just in case.
i was shocked.
i have been taking it for granted these few days,
ever since gong gong's condition turned better last saturday.
i havent been visiting him.
he had another stroke this morning.
it could be fatal.
now he's bleeding internally in the brain,
and half paralysed.
the doctor told us to be prepared,
as these 3 day are super critical.
if he pulls through these 3 days,
there'll be chances of recovery.
if not, :(
on the way to the hospital in daddy's car,
i kept praying for gong gong.
i was really scared, scared of losing him.
scared of not being able to be there.
when i finally went into his ward,
he was frowning, cos he felt uncomfortable
he had so many tubes on him.
his arm was bruised from all the tubes.
he could not breathe properly cos there's one at his nose.
he was so weak.
but he could smile when he saw us.
i held his hand, but he couldnt feel me.
he kept trying to talk, but i couldnt hear or understand him even when i went near.
i know he felt helpless.
but what can i do,
i just kept assuring him it's okay and patted him to sleep.
i looked at gong gong and i couldnt help shedding tears.
it's really painful to see him like that.
everyone kept tellng me that it's part and parcel of life,
and kept telling me to be strong.
but it's like, when you're sad, you just cannot control.
i wrote a letter for him last week, cos he was slightly better.
but i didnt give to him.
now, it's on his side table, but i guess he cannot read it anymore.
Gong Gong,
3 more days,
it's just a while more,
hang on okay please?
you can do it.
SEE YOU TMR (:
<3