Finally got to do some minor shopping with Mummy before work today. Wuhoo! But I still think it's a bit crazy to shop in town on a weekend, cos it's mad crowded! :(
Work has been rather interesting these few days, albeit tiring. Many Indo tai tais splurge on designer stuff and easily spend thousands! Gosh, why their money like, so easy to earn?
One lady came in with multiple receipts of $60,000++. EACH. She bought jewelry. Ruby, gold, diamond; madness lah.
And lastly to vent some work-related frustrations,
SCREW YOU ALL BITCHY TOURISTS!!!
The timebomb
Monday, June 21, 2010 @ 12:13 am
Darling, I'm afraid our time is up.
I came back from Nepal wanting to book the next flight back. Selfish? Maybe. Escape? Hell yeah.
Life back here is so sucky and problematic compared to peaceful Nepal.
Mummy finally broke the news to me. About letting Gooby go.
Seriously what can I say? I'm helpless, that's a fact. It has always been Gooby and me.
I mean, when he's cute and all, everyone's by his side. But what about bad times?
Are we supposed to give up just because he keeps barking? Are we supposed to give up cos one day he will fall sick again? Are we supposed to give up just because Gooby doesn't behave like we want him to?
I have been fighting fighting fighting, but it seems like I'm still going to lose. No one is standing on my side. I cannot blame them, cos you can't force someone to go against their nature.
Even if I want to pay all the bills, even if I don't mind having Gooby on my bed, just becasue I don't mind doesn't mean the rest don't mind. And that itself is the reason.
I can't even kiss Gooby, cos "the dog is damn dirty"
Whatever reasons I have, whatever I say, they will be blocked. What can I do but give in? I don't want to, I'd hate to, but eventually, darling, I have to give you away.
);
Baby, I hate myself for making the mistake in the first place. I shouldn't have insisted on taking you home and believed that everyone would change their life for you and I. Sorry for taking away your right to be loved properly. As much as I want to, I can't protect you.
Farewell is going to be so painful, at least for me. It's going to come soon, maybe in weeks, maybe in months.
From now till the day you go away, I'll love you as much as possible. I'll hug you so hard and kiss you so much. Hopefully you'll remember me.
If anyone is willing or keen to adopt Gooby, please let me know. I really rather give him up to someone I know. And, it's a big decision, hopefully this someone can be with Gooby till the end.
My heart is with you
Wednesday, June 09, 2010 @ 12:48 am
Dear god, if you really exist, please save my bestfriend, please save Gooby.
He's done nothing wrong, so I shall bear all the sins because I am a bad owner. I didn't fulfill my promises to him, I wasn't caring enough, I didn't love him enough.
What is enough? When is enough? I just know that I love him till it hurts my heart so much now.
It's sad to see a once agile and energetic being become so weak and sick now. Please bless him with energy and good health. Please make him smile and jump around again. Please don't take him away cos I'm sure you have many friends and you don't need him.
I need him. By my side. Please let him stay with me.
It's been 3 days since Gooby fell sick. Now he's refusing to eat. Completely. And I'm leaving. In 5 hours.
I really want to be by his side. But I can't. I feel like I'm being forcefully taken away from my baby.
WHAT KIND OF JOKE IS THIS.
Omg I just want to cry and cry but I know it wouldn't help. For the first time, I'm so desperate and so lost. What shoud I do? );
For now, I have only one wish. I just want to see my baby after 10 days. Just wait for me, ok?
-
Sunday, June 06, 2010 @ 11:39 pm
It was 2 crazy nights.
Friday night, Gooby started vomiting at home. Cos he vomits once in a while when he eats too fast, we thought it was nothing serious. Then he had diarrhea.
Came back from STB outing and reached home quite late. Saw Gooby lying on the floor looking very lethergic and both eb and ab were sleeping on the sofa. "Why you all sleep outside?"
They were actually worried about Gooby vomitting at night. In the end, 3 of us slept outside, in the living room. It was todali difficult to fall asleep without aircon, without my bed, but somehow I didn't mind at all. And true enough, in the middle of the night, Gooby threw up a few times.
WAHHH, all of us didn't even sleep well. We were busy cleaning up almost every hour. Then it was morning and we told Daddy about it.
I wanted to bring Gooby to a vet, cos throwing up a few times? OBVIOUSLY NOT NORMAL.
But Daddy insisted on waiting one more day, just in case he gets better. I REALLY felt like quarelling with him, but I'd lose of course. I felt that it was totally ridic of him to want to wait, bu I can't make the decision.
As much as I love and respect Daddy, sometimes I really hate him for not listening to me, like my reasons and all. It is a very chauvinistic thing, and I really hate it.
Dragged myself to work feeling SUPER VEXED. All I could think of was "What if Gooby dies?"
I mean, I knowww, it's a bit extreme, but don't you tend to think about the worst when it's someone very dear? You get what I mean? Like, cos Goody's dear to me, I'm afraid of the worst case scenario.
Reached home at night and I literally heaved a sigh of relief when I saw him pop his head up to look at me. He was all limpy and weak :( Hurts like hell to see him like that.
After I came out from my bath, I got a shock. I saw faeces stains on the balcony glass door. It was nasty, but I didn't feel angry, I was scared.
Usually when Gooby pooped at the wrong place and made a mess, we'd all glare at him and scold him. But this time, I kept assuring him that it was alright, it was alright.
His diarrhea got worse; the smell was really something sick. As in, when I smelt it, I could tell it's "SICK DOG'S POO". Cleaned up, and I decided to sleep outside with him again for another night.
Throughout the night, he vomitted and pooped blood multiple times. The way he passed his waste was painful to look. He looked like he was having a hard time and I wanted to cry just looking at him. I was terrified when I saw the blood? I was like, "OMG OMG HOW?" It's the kind of helplessness cos there was nothing I could do but just hold him and talk to him. I can't stop the pain he's feeling, that kind of feeling?
This is the photo I took this morning, I wanted to show the vet. Totally puked blood. HOW SCARY!
:(
So this morning, I insisted that Gooby had to see a vet. I mean, I can't risk having him dead or anything?! Even if Daddy didn't allow, I was just going to cab there on my own.
In the end all of us accompanied Gooby for his first vet visit. At that time, I was really kind of impatient, and I truly felt like a mother bringing her child to the doctor's. Absolutely worried.
When I was carrying him, he just rested his head on my shoulder and didn't move. It was like, he didn't have any strength left in his small body. I kind of hoped that he'd chew on my sleeve, scratch my face, but that didn't happen. He just leaned on me, half-closed his eyes, todali limp :(
Thankfully, the vet examined Gooby and assured us that it's nothing serious. He probably licked something dirty during his walks. The blood is due to inflammation of his rectum and throat cos "He's not supposed to use his rectum so many times a day" OK WHICH IS TRUE.
I felt 100000000 times better after hearing what the vet said. I mean, even if the bill didn't come cheap, I totally needed that cos I trust her advice. I needed her to tell me that Gooby's okay. THANK GUANYINMA.
Collected Gooby's medcine, [freaking 7 bottles!!] and made him porridge for lunch. It was his first meal in 2 days cos he lost his appetite and refused to consume anything, even honey water. Added chicken and he polished off the whole bowl. YAY.
Medicine-feeding was crazy. I had to feed him the yucky syrup using the syringe. Boss had to force open his mouth and I'd push the syringe and then we'd hold his mouth shut until he swallowed everything. He was choking on the gross medication but no choice, he had to get well.
Antibiotics are the worst-smelling shit ever. [and I believe, worst-tasting also] I really hate syrups that are powdery. Eeeeewwww to the max.
But surprisingly, Gooby obediently swallowed everything! He didn't pui anything out. YAY.
The whole feeding experience felt cruel. Feeding him, I had this weird feeling. It was a heartache that no words can describe. It was as if I'm choking him and causing him misery. It was like, making foie gras. OMG.
I know many people reading this might think I'm over-reacting or whatever, just like what Mummy and Daddy think. but I just want to say that, someone who is not a dog owner will never be able to understand how a dog owner feels. Never ever.
You might think, "OMG! So poorthing, better bring him to a vet! Don't worry k! He'll be alright." Easier said than done.
The real feeling of seeing your dog fall sick is a million times crazier. I tried to assure myself that it'll be okay, but it's just not that easy lah.
I was just feeling really flustered + vexed + sad + scared. Not to mention I'll be departing for Nepal on Wednesday, which is 3 days later, and for a whole 10 days. If I don't see Gooby recovering within these few days, I really don't think I can set off with a heavy heart.
A dog is not just A DOG, at least for me. Gooby is as good as human; he's family. We spent times together, we have a bond, and it's a wonderful thing. I worry for him, and I cry when he falls ill - it's not over-reacting, it's not like I can control you know.
So thanks Jaz,for understanding me and offering me transport to the vet! It was a simple sms - "You got transport?" But it meant alot to me. I knew you were so ready to chiong here and fetch Gooby and I (: ILU TTM. <3
And sorry Karthik! I wasn't really in the mood to gush about Super Junior just now :( So sorry! Thank you for worrying for Gooby too! Seeyou when I'm back!
So Gooby, get well sooooooooon, and faster pull my hair. Smile a big big smile for me with your tongue hanging out :D Faster, faster!