Music
mummy stay strong.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 @ 7:37 pm
okay, so it's good and bad news.
good news is, the tumor in mummy's head is not cancerous.
bad news is, she still has to go for the op and have it removed,
cos it's pressing on her nerves and it's dangerous.
she'll be admitted into NUH tmr,
and have the op on monday.
ohmygod,
is this drama or something.
i feel like i'm in a show.
so many things are happening,
all the scary things.
how am i going to take it.
first it's all the drama from yeye,
then gong gong's death,
and now it's mummy,
someone who's so so so dear to me.
and it's an operation we're talking abt here,
like, cutting open the skull and everything.
doctors always say low risk low risk,
but please, everyone knows anything can happen.
HOW :(
i think i'll just really die this time if anything bad happens.
i will just die.
i think i'm really about to explode already.
i really can't take it anymore.
i dont want to think about it,
but this news struck me so suddenly,
and the impact's like,
i dont know how to say.
when mummy called to tell me yesterday,
i was on the bus on the way to work.
it's the same feeling when eb told me gong gong passed away when i was in the shower.
i hate the feeling of being so far away.
i wanted to hug and console mummy right away,
but i'm like so far away from her! :(((
my mind was a blank for a while,
before i start realising how serious this matter was.
what if i really lose mummy?
i really cannot imagine.
like, what if this happened to you?
can you imagine your mummy getting shaved bald,
and having people cut open her head.
the heart pain feeling is terrible.
terrible.
i was okay during the day,
but then when daddy came back with mummy in the evening,
i knew right away from her face that she was scared.
i mean, i understand, how could she be not scared.
instead of us comforting her,
she consoled us that she'll be alright.
i totally wanted to kill myself.
when will happy things happen to us?